Brace yourself

One day left before I embark on a new adventure – one I have been working towards for nearly 8 years. In His great mercy and kindness, God has given me a object lesson to guide me as he often does. He knows I am often too thick headed and he gently and steadily reminds me of his love and care. Due to a car accident 28 years ago, I will need an ankle replacement. Yes, it sucks, but that is the fact of it. A wonderful new ortho has recommended that since the procedure still quite new, I should not pursue this as an option right now. In the meantime, I have been fitted with this new orthotic, so that hopefully it will help me maintain the very slim layer of cartilage that is left in my ankle for 10 years or so until I can get the ankle replaced. It is really pretty awful in looks and in the actual wearing of it.

What shoes will I ever wear? Admittedly, I have very large feet and now we add another couple of inches to them and clown feet in the circus will be my new style. Pride aside, the most difficult part of this brace is that I can’t walk in it the way that I am used to! My normal gait and stride are severely restricted. My doctor told me to let the brace dictate the way I walk, don’t try to make it follow you. “Follow the brace” are the words he used. As I walk, I have to retrain my steps. I do have a very long, strong stride, and walk quite briskly. No more. If I follow the brace, my stride is much shorter, slower and my knee has to bend at a different time and place so that I don’t bend my ankle and it gets the support it requires. So far my entire leg is sore, my back aches and the brace is restricting and confining. Don’t get me wrong, I am not really griping about the whole thing, I am so thankful that this doctor has provided me with some hope, some relief. I know it is the best for my ankle in the long run and I know I will adjust to it, it will just take time. Here is where knowing Jesus makes life so much fun! I am leaving my job after 22 years. As of November 1, I am trusting that God will help me build a biblical counseling practice, right here out of our home, with enough financial means to be able to pay our bills and feed ourselves. The thought of it makes me shiver with terrified anticipation. I firmly and unequivocally believe that God has prepared me for this, that He has taken me to this place and that He is with me, guiding, supporting and leading. I have but one response…. follow the brace. If I think about it, it is how I got here, slowing down, adjusting, trusting, allowing God to shape and mold me. Any time in my life that I have tried to flip it and asked God to fit my plans -- rather uncomfortable consequences have occurred. While it felt constraining at the time, His ways have always far exceeded what I could have planned, given me more than I could ever hope or imagine. Psalm 25 says Make me to know your ways, O LORD; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long….. Good and upright is the LORD; therefore he instructs sinners in the way. He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way. All the paths of the LORD are steadfast love and faithfulness. I am hoping to be a regular blogger in this new season – hoping that I will be able to share how I see God at work in me and in others – hoping that I will be able to encourage others as Jesus encourages me. But for now, I am just going to follow the brace.